Day 6

Still consistent in my fasting, but feeling pretty weak. The thing I hate the most is the sick feeling I wake up with every morning. I mean, eventually it goes away when I drink a glass of juice, but for the first half hour I'm awake, I'm with J while he gets ready for work and it's really hard to be a happy morning person when you feel like there's a tiny gnome punching the inside of your stomach trying desperately to get out.

Huh...that was a really weird analogy.

So I really don't have anything to do today, and that kind of scares me because I'll be alone with food in the house all day. I'm not going out because we got like 29374872384 inches of snow last night, and it's still snowing. I love it, but I wish it would have come sooner so Christmas would have been better. I think I'll try to find one of those really cheesy Lifetime movies about eating disorders to watch online. I wish someone would make a movie about it that would actually be released in theatres. It might still be a little cheesy, but compared to Lifetime movies...come on. You all know what I'm talking about. So, any good suggestions on those cheesy movies?

Also, my Dad called me yesterday to talk. He told me that the problems he and my Mom were having aren't getting any better and that he's leaving. At first, I was upset...until he started getting defensive and attacking me when I told him how wrong all of this was. He eventually relented after I called him out for it though. He knows he's wrong. I feel kind of numb about the whole thing because he's being a selfish jerk, and quite frankly, he's full of crap. My 19 year old sister still lives with them, and she told me that he says he's leaving everyday, but he never does. I think he's being overly-emotional and making stupid decisions he'll regret later because of it. And I told him exactly that. I guess we'll see what happens. He also told me he was let go from his job because he's having marital problems. He worked for a good family friend in a Christian ministry, and he's a liability engaging in this kind of behavior. I think they did the right thing. If he's going to claim to be a Christian, then he should live it out consistently. Not that Christians are perfect, I mean, the fact that none of us are perfect and needed a Savior is the whole point of it...but this situation is common sense, plus there are some big questions about him being faithful. I think it's good that they're holding him accountable, but in a loving and honest way. He hasn't even tried to work on it with my Mom. All he does is complain, but never makes any effort to fix it. If he were getting counseling or some kind of help, this would all be different. But he's not. He's just giving up.

Anyway, I'm done spilling out my problems here for today. I hope you all have a lovely day and stay safe.

xoxo