My last day of fasting went well. It was kind of an afterthought, but I'm not sure why.
I don't really know what to eat now. I guess I'll start with a piece or two of fruit and not much else. I feel anxious though, I feel fear creeping up on me. I don't want to gain weight back. I feel like I want to purge everything I eat now, even if it's not a binge, just a piece of fruit or vegetables or something. I just want nothing in my body.
Ugh. Hard decisions. I know that would be so rough on me physically, but at the same time, I really don't care. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I might just avoid food altogether until I know I can eat something small without purging.
Today is kind of a numb day. I don't feel happy, but I don't feel sad either. I'm just...meh. I'm glad it's Friday, J and I can just relax this weekend and not think about the rest of the world for a while. He really needs that and so do I.
I think that's about it for now. I don't really have anything interesting to say...it's just one of those days. I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Stay strong xoxo
I know those days :)
ReplyDeleteJust...enjoy that it's an in between day :P
And I hope you figure out what do to about the food...you'll die if u don't eat at all, and what's the point in being thin if you're dead. >_< :P