Homework

I had my first therapy session yesterday evening. I actually like my therapist, she seemed lovely. She gave me "homework" to do this week until our next appointment, and the first thing I'm supposed to do is rate my anxiety level for today, with 1 being "I'm fine", and 10 being "I want to jump out of my skin". Today's rating: 9.

I saw J yesterday as well. Everything went fine, but I had to give him my dog. My family didn't want another dog around the house, so he agreed to take her so I could still see her from time to time. I also had to pick up a few things from the house, but my anxiety was through the roof the entire time I was there. I was physically shaking, and couldn't control it. After I got home, I completely broke down. I just have a hard time accepting that after all we've been through, he acts like I never existed. But maybe I never did. That's what it always felt like anyway.

I'm not sure where to go from here. I just want to hide away.

x