Today is...well, I don't really know. I feel drained. My throat is reeeeeally sore. It hurts to swallow, which is fine, it will keep me from eating today.
I've been told that everything is my fault....as if I didn't know that already. But it's official, every important person in my life has said it directly to my face. Wonderful.
I finally saw my therapist yesterday. My homework for this week is cutting out pictures of things I like in magazines and making a collage of "who I am"...or rather, exploring it. I have no clue who I am, I have no identity. I usually just conform to whatever someone wants me to be. I don't know who I want to be though.
Tonight is my last night with my sister. She leaves early tomorrow morning. I feel completely alone. I don't know how I'm going to feel once she's actually gone, but I'm preparing myself for the worst.
I'm still purging and cutting. I really don't have any plans to stop, I don't know how else I would deal with everything. I really don't feel like caring anymore.
x
recovery comes a day at a time. maybe you can go in and focus on finding your identity. going back into your early childhood and starting there. one goal at a time. it's a long process. hugs. you can email me if you want.
ReplyDeleteshy_poet_4_love@yahoo.com
I think estabishing an identity is one of the strangest things ever. I know what I like and don't like but I dont know what exactly I am. Its a strange question to ponder but theres really never a complete answer. Good Luck discovering yourself <3
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