1. I genuinely appreciate any concern expressed in regards to my health. It's a nice thing when people have enough compassion and respect for human life to inform people that they're killing themselves. It's a sign of life that you don't see very often anymore. Everyone is too afraid to tell the truth for fear of offending someone. So for that, I applaud your comments.
2. I'm very much aware of all of the health risks associated with my eating disorder. I'm also very aware that I do, in fact, have an eating disorder...hence the reason I created this blog, which leads me to my next two points.
3. I'll assume you probably haven't read many of my other posts, otherwise you wouldn't have indicated that you believe this site "promotes eating disorders to young girls". Since you haven't, let me make this crystal clear: I DO NOT believe eating disorders are anything other than what they are- serious illnesses. They are not a "lifestyle choice" or a "diet" or a "quick way to lose weight". In fact, I try not to post too much information or details of my eating disorder to prevent any young girl from stumbling upon my blog thinking that what I do is any of the things previously listed. That was totally a run-on sentence. But I digress. Those who truly suffer from eating disorders understand what I'm talking about without having to go into much detail. Others will eventually get frustrated or bored with my posting and go elsewhere to find "tips&tricks" on "how to become ana", as if it were possible. Anyone who would ever want to be anorexic is incredibly naive and has no idea what they're talking about. I would never wish an ED on anyone. Not even my worst enemy, if I had one other than myself.
4. This blog is written, not to encourage eating disorders, but to encourage those who suffer from them. Not that you would know, but having an eating disorder is incredibly lonely. People don't understand why it is that I do what I do. It's not as simple as "change your eating habits". There is much more that feeds into the disorder, and analyzing it should really be left up to the professionals who work diligently with those who suffer. This blog is about letting others know they're not alone. And sometimes, that's just the sort of thing that can help someone when nothing else can.
We are a community. One that is shifting and separating. Those who truly suffer are removing themselves from the prospect of becoming some sort of unintentional "mentor" to 14 year old girls who desperately want attention. We take every precaution we can in trying to isolate our blogs and websites from those girls. We are open and honest about what we go through, and warn against it every chance we get.
Thank you for your comments & giving me the chance to write this post. I hope it made things clearer for everyone, including those who read my blog regularly.
I've never felt your blog was encouraging of an ED. You have always sounded so sad and it's shocking how much you purge and how much you can't help it. You are writing of your experience and even with the health scares concerning your heart you havent' stopped. It's clear to me you know you have a problem but don't have the wherewithal or desire to fix it right now. I am hoping a time will come when you can.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate how profeessional this post is, how kindly you handled that. Kudos. And I also wanted to add, having an eating disorder myself, I REALLY appreciate just being able to read your posts and have those moments beyond the isolation of my eating disorder, to feel I'm not alone. NOT that it makes me feel better to know there's someone else suffering from one (that sounds awful), but to feel connected and aware there's a heart out there going through something similar and offering wisdom unintentionaly. THANK YOU. And I've been to pro-ana sites... this isn't one of them. There's no encouragement here... (that sounds awful too..) There's no pro-ana encouragement. But there's OTHER type of encouragement. (the good kind) : D
ReplyDeleteBe well,
J.H.