J told me he's not happy. He said this relationship isn't worth it. He said we'd talk about it tomorrow.
I have no words to accurately describe this pain.
I will cease to exist. My heart will never be whole again. No one can survive with a hole so big in their heart. The ache will never subside. And it stings like death.
God please forgive me...but I can't. I would rather die than feel this. I won't eat and I won't drink.
This brokenness is permanent. I'm a billion glass pieces that can't be formed into anything. I am worthless. I am a grave in myself.
He doesn't care.
For what it's worth I'll say this, heartbreak is a sharp and stabbing pain that can rip you asunder but when that feeling inevitably goes away you are left with an opportunity. How you use that opportunity will decide how you change as a person.
ReplyDeleteAnd i'm sorry to hear it's not working out, I hope... well just take care of yourself.
oh hunny,
ReplyDeleteperk up
be strong!
you are strong.
I know sometimes it feels like forever. Like, what's torn can't be mended or even just temporarily taped together. But, in all honesty, there's days of ease behind painful ones. Always remember that. Because I made the mistake of thinking that what felt perminant WAS undending, once. None of it ever really is. You're stronger than you know. Please be strong whenever you feel weak. It's what gets you up in the morning, helps you close your eyes at night. And in between the two, that strength is what helps you to dream. Stay beautiful and dream of better days when you feel down. Those dreams of better days are truth. : )
ReplyDeleteLove
J.H.