Today I went to my parents' house while J was at work. It was a strange experience. My father, despite "reconciling" with my mother, is still acting like a very selfish 5 year old. He basically warned me that if I take J for granted he's going to cheat on me and leave me and it will be all my fault.
Yeah. That makes sense. Because men, who are supposed to be leaders and protectors, who are called to dignity, integrity, and honesty should TOTALLY be permitted to act like man-whores if they don't get what they want. Grats on being a douchebag, Dad. Grats.
You know what that is? It's breeding a culture of abuse.
Fuck that. If J ever told me that, I'd show him the door with my middle finger in the air. I'm not pathetic enough to put up with that shit. But luckily I don't have to worry about that with J. At least for now.
Anyway....
I've been eating two meals a day, and purging them. I've lost 10 more pounds in four weeks' time. Not bad I guess, but I can do better. And I will. Being pissed off at people helps me do better....strangely. Whatever works, I'm not complaining.
I hope you're all well.
xoxo
Ah I've been looking for a legit ANA blog that's been updated in the last YEAR, and I've finally found you! (Used to be big into LiveJournal 5+ years ago when I first started my ED)
ReplyDeleteI shall be back!
:)
You have anorexia. And depression. You've been telling us all of the symptoms you've been having. Stop purging. Food is meant to give your body nutrients. Besides, multiple studies have shown that girls with a bit of meat on their bones are considered more attractive.
ReplyDeleteThin is considered ugly nowadays.
If you continue to purge, you're going to die from the lack of nutrients in your body. If you don't get nutrients, your body won't be able to perform properly and won't be able to protect itself from anything. If disease hits or you get in an accident, you're going to be in a lot of trouble.
ReplyDeletePlease, go to a doctor or therapist.
Hello :) i understand that the last thing you want to hear is probably want i'm about to say, along with what many other people commented on this post. The condition you have, in fact, has a name. It's called bulimia, and it's a serious eating disorder. It may help you get thin fast, but it doesn't do "wonders" to your health. You may think that people are just saying all these bad things about it because they don't know what they're saying, and that you're actually not in that dangerous of a situation, but it's actually very serious :/ People with bulimia tend to eat large amounts of food and then purge it all up afterwards. Your case is a little different, because you starve yourself, and you also purge. So i think your case is more of a mix between anorexia and bulimia. Oh, and did i mention that bulimians also tend to have dental issues because the acid from their stomach decays their teeth every time they purge. I would reconsider your eating habits, if i were you. I don't mean to sound pushy, but i think this blog is not only encouraging eating disorders for young teens, but it is also acknowledging that purging is normal, when in fact, it's not. :)
ReplyDelete