Ugh...

So something happened...

I had sex with J last night. He called me randomly, asked me to come over, and we ended up in the backseat of my car...

He told me some bullshit about still having feelings for me and being attracted to me, he just doesn't want a relationship. He said he doesn't want to sleep with random people and it not mean anything *eyeroll*, and that he wants to sleep with me and no one else. He proposed a "friends with benefits" scenario. I don't even know what to think. He's so hot and cold. He basically just wants to use me for sex. How do I deal with that? Part of me is still so addicted to him, and part of me wishes he would just go away forever.

I met with my dietitian today. She wanted to do a final assessment with me before meeting with my family on Monday with my therapist. They're both going to explain to my family the severity and nature of my bulimia, and make their "recommendations". They've already told me that they would like to see me go to a residential facility for a while. I just don't know that I'm ready. Right now I kind of just act like I've got it all together. We'll see what happens on Monday I guess.

I hope you're all well.

x