Update.

I'm living with my parents. Still trying to figure it all out. J and I don't speak very often. I guess he's just completely done. I'm struggling with trying to stay positive about the future, and being quite sad.

My emotions fluctuate alot, especially the last two days. I'm on Prozac, which helps some, but I wish I could just be completely numb.

I'm still binging and purging, even more now that I'm going through all of this. I always feel tired and drained, my hair is falling out. But I don't really care.

I had my sister pierce my cartilage with a sewing needle. The pain actually helped get my mind off of my anxiety...I guess it kind of replaced cutting for one night. I still want to cut. I think about it all the time, especially looking at the scars on my arms.

My outpatient appointments aren't until the second week in July, which sucks....I need to talk to someone now, but I don't have any control over that.

I hope you're all well.

x