Ballet Thinspo...because it's lovely.

My family had Thanksgiving this past Saturday, due to my younger sister not being able to make it on the actual holiday. I excused myself from the table twice to purge and get more food. I spent more of the day in the bathroom than with my family and friends. But at least the food was good.

I saw my therapist today, it had been a while. Stuff kept coming up, but anyway....

We talked about a lot of things. She told me how I shouldn't feel ashamed, but should have compassion toward myself because this isn't something I wake up and choose to do. It's a complicated illness. She explained that most people with eating disorders tend to be intelligent and talented, and we don't like it when we can't figure something out ourselves, so we automatically feel shame. She also gave me her recommendation for treatment, talking about the three different branches of treatment depending on severity. She suggested residential, followed by intensive outpatient. But it's so expensive, and I would have to put my entire life on hold for something I'm ambivalent about anyway. Meh, I don't know.