Sorry I haven't been updating as much, I've just been kind of busy with my Parents' situation and J.
Last night I thought I was having a heart attack. The horrible stomach and heart pain has returned. It's been a while since the first time it happened so I kind of thought I was in the clear. But I guess my Mom was right...it really is some sort of long term problem resulting from my ED. Lovely. I was up until 1 am in pain...it started at around 7pm. I can take pain pretty well, but constant, horrible pain for HOURS that nothing will relieve...that's rough for me. J kept asking me if I wanted him to take me to the hospital, but of course I said no. That's the last place I want to go right now. I know what they'll say.
I woke up feeling better. A little sore from it all for some reason, but alive.
I've been purging everything I eat, but I don't binge. I eat what would be considered a "normal" amount of food throughout the day, and purge. But I keep my dinner down, and try to limit it to 300 calories. I can't purge that because J would hear me and get pissed.
It's been pretty easy. I just don't think about it that much.
I hope you're all well, and I'll update with something more interesting later.
xoxo
ED's consequences shouldn't be taken lightly in fact I think we tend to trivialize them more so we don't have to think about what destruction we really cause on the inside.
ReplyDeleteHope things will become better soon within the family and with J.
You're doing fantastic by the way!! Stay cool.